i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
