Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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