Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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