I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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