there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
