Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
