I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
