i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
