how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
