my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
