Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize