Don't you send me to vm
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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