I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
