If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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