Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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