Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
