i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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