No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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