we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
