We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
