mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
