I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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