I hate your face
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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