No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize