stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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