i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can feel your judgement through the phone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
