Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
