he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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