I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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