If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize