i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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