She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize