Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
