her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
