Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Your dad touched me again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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