Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
