would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
