Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
