All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
