I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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