I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
