If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
