Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Randomize
