We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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