we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize