There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
