Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
