Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
