and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
