She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
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