bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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