No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
