Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
