I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
