I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
