Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
