So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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