I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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