and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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